The VBAC Blog

1. I haven’t seen my feet…or anything below my belly button in a long, long time.

2. After I eat a bite of pepperoni pizza, I get elephant ankles.

3. My fingernails are growing faster than my spring flowers.

4. About 6 inches of roots are showing in my hair (cause Clairol is a no-no when pregnant).

5. My skin is blotchy and I have to pee every half hour now.

6. I am very, very moody and everyone leaves me the heck alone. If they pass by, they walk softly, fake a smile, and then walk away very quickly.

7. I am down to 3 pairs of “fat pants” that fit. Most of my maternity clothes, and even Richard’s clothes, are too small for me now.

8. The kids no longer jump at the chance to see the baby moving in my tummy. They sigh and say, “Ah, come on, Mom. Didn’t we do this yesterday?”

9. There is a brand new cradle assembled in our bedroom…and the cat keeps crawling in there! Bad kitty!

10. There are two big boxes in our mudroom labeled “Baby Box” and “Birth Box.”

11. The house is clean and, so help me, it will REMAIN clean until the baby comes and THAT IS AN ORDER!!!

12. My stomach is so big people don’t even look at my face when they talk to me anymore.

13. People who ride in elevators with me have a very, VERY tense expression on their faces.

14. I took my friend to the emergency room the other day and, despite the fact that she was the one on the gurney, people were offering to help ME.

15. And, the biggest sign that I really am about to deliver is that I asked our family physician about sterilization yesterday!